What Are You Afraid Of?
Updated: Aug 7, 2019
A blog to help you befriend your fears & move past them.
What are you afraid of? To get the ball rolling here are a few of mine that crop up constantly. I'm not clever or effective enough. I won't be able to articulate what I want to say. I won't have enough stamina or knowledge. I will embarrass myself. I will never fulfil my potential. Sound familiar? I'm sure it does as being human means we are wired to be abundant with fears all designed to keep us safe and alive.
In this blog I am going to explain why it's important to run towards your fears, not away from them. To befriend your fears, move past them and therefore eliminate the unhelpful patterns those fears cause.
Getting Back In Your Body
You feel fear in your body way before your brain even gets involved. This is good news. It means all the clues as to what you're most afraid of and therefore what is keeping you stuck can all be found in your body. Tuning into your body gives you really wonderful clues as to how you are feeling fear and what you are feeling fear about.
For example sitting down to write this I notice that my heart beat is increasing, my chest is feeling tight. And THEN the thoughts start racing, the SELF DOUBT THOUGHTS - I won't get to the point, someone has written something better more incisive about fear before. Sound familiar? But before the thoughts - I feel it in my body, and these physical feelings are what triggers the thoughts.
Where do you feel your fear - is it in your throat? Your chest? Maybe your palms get sweaty? The reason I'm getting you to tune into this is that having a deeper self wisdom puts you in control.
Once you're aware that a) you're scared b) where it is in your body - it enables you to find out what you're scared of and move past it. Getting to the root of your fear, taking control of the fear, instead of fear controlling you -without you even realising it, and therefore staying stuck in the same old patterns - in my case avoidance of writing a blog about fear!
Where Is Your Life Not Working?
Another key way to find out how fear is showing up in your life (maybe without you realising it) is to locate what part of your life isn't working? Maybe you're in a pattern of procrastinating on a project and repeatedly not getting something done. This shows that YOUR FEAR IS WINNING. This again is a good thing because then we can get specific about where your fear is stopping you moving forward.
It's another piece of the fear puzzle solved which will help you move forward.
Always Busy? What are you avoiding?
Busyness doesn't mean you are in control it actually means you are being driven by your fear and you need to SLOW DOWN. When you're busy you don't have time to face the things that are really scaring you. Have a think about what you are avoiding by staying busy.
Slow It Down & Come Back Into Your Body
Just as I said at the beginning of this blog - FEAR STARTS IN THE BODY. Therefore to gain deeper inner wisdom on where your patterns of fear are holding you back you need to SLOW DOWN in order to notice. To connect in with the wisdom of what your body is telling you - get out of your head and whirling thoughts and ground yourself down into your body.
Ways to Ground Down & Activate Your Parasympathetic Nervous System
Best way to get out of your head, into your body and connect to that wisdom? Anything that activates your parasympathetic nervous system.
Meditate - there's a free one on our website.
Move your body - it doesn't matter how or for how long. Walk in nature or do the free warm up on our website for example -nothing crazy - in fact think small not big.
Breathe - Alternate nostril breathing is a great way to slow down the parasympathetic nervous system - there's a post on our instagram of me talking you through how to do this.
Gratitude - Write down 4 or 5 things your grateful for.
Get Creative - work on something that taps into your creative side.
Friends & Family - spend time in real life with people who really send out positive energy your way - friends and family who support you.
Digital Detox - Stop Scrolling.
Show Yourself Some Serious Self Compassion
Most importantly - give yourself a break. When you put things off, or make a mistake, fall into old self limiting thoughts and behaviours? Show yourself some serious self compassion - say something to yourself along the lines of "That's OK, I'm doing my best, at least I showed up".
Good Luck in noticing, befriending and moving past your fear.